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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28867743">Arguments</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie'>DoomedKelpie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Arguing, Arguments, Backstory, Blood, Crying, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Dermatillomania, Excoriation Disorder, Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Skin picking, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Virgil leaves, Yelling, mostly - Freeform, references to mental illness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:42:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,460</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28867743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomedKelpie/pseuds/DoomedKelpie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The argument that made Virgil leave, and a conversation after they finally try to move on.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Trick or Treat (And What Follows) [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2002450</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, this is the argument that led to Virgil leaving the Dark Sides. It takes place somewhere between ‘Accepting Anxiety’ and ‘Can Lying be Good?’</p><p> </p><p>Just for the record, the friend mentioned in this chapter isn’t meant to be anyone in particular. *shrug*</p><p> </p><p>Also, college started back up, so I’ll have to work more on schoolwork now. That shouldn’t affect this story too much since I’ve already finished it (just need to edit it a bit more), but updates might be a tiny bit slower.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing that, Jan!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?! Don’t you want what’s best for Thomas?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>How</span>
  </em>
  <span> is making Thomas’s friends hate him what’s best for him?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They wouldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, Virgil!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know that! They might!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus growled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For Christ’s sake, Virgil, Thomas’s friends aren’t going to hate him for engaging in self-care!” he argued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’re having a hard time right now, and they </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> Thomas!” Virgil denied. “What do you think will happen if Thomas stops supporting them right now?! What if it hurts them, and they end up hating Thomas for it?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>possibly</span>
  </em>
  <span> expect Thomas to be there for them 24/7, and Thomas can’t expect </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do that! He’s been up all night for </span>
  <em>
    <span>days</span>
  </em>
  <span> talking to them! He </span>
  <em>
    <span>needs</span>
  </em>
  <span> a break!” Janus continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t the first argument they’d had. Far from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think Thomas would be devastated if something happened to his friend because he needed a </span>
  <em>
    <span>break?!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Other people’s mental health </span>
  <em>
    <span>is not</span>
  </em>
  <span> Thomas’s responsibility!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He </span>
  <em>
    <span>cares</span>
  </em>
  <span> about them, you jerk!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus felt his fists clench, and he took in a deep breath to try to calm himself down. It didn’t really work, but he managed to keep himself from shouting his next words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, don’t you think that his </span>
  <em>
    <span>friend</span>
  </em>
  <span> would be devastated if they knew Thomas was suffering for their sake?” Janus tried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he should have left it at that. Maybe Virgil would have seen his point, and maybe this argument wouldn’t have had the consequences it did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t get it, Virgil!” Janus continued, despite his common sense. “You’ve been different ever since you started hanging out with the ‘Light Sides’!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> supposed to mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never listen to anything I say anymore!” Janus shouted. “Even when the others are wrong, you’d still rather listen to </span>
  <em>
    <span>them!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> I don’t listen to you because you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, so now I’m wrong about everything?!” Janus questioned angrily. “You didn’t think so until you started hanging out with </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span> all the time instead of us! As soon as they accepted you, you started following them around like a damn lost </span>
  <em>
    <span>puppy!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil’s glare deepened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s what this is really fucking about, isn’t it?” he laughed dryly. “You just can’t deal with the fact that I’ve made friends with the Light Sides. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span>, if you got your head out of your ass, you’d realize that they aren’t as bad as we thought!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus couldn’t believe what he was hearing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not as bad as we thought?!” the deceitful side exclaimed. “They drove all of us away! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Including you!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He saw Virgil hesitate for a moment, but not enough to stop the argument.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they messed up, Jan, but at least they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to do what’s right for Thomas!” Virgil growled. “I thought… For a long time, I thought that’s what you were doing too, but I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> not so sure about that anymore… I mean, every time your influence is at play, </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> goes badly! Thomas wants to be an honest, caring person, and everything you do seems to oppose that! You’re just...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil took a deep breath in before his glare settled back into place at full force.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re just a lying snake.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus tried to respond, but Virgil kept going.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You… You just want to wallow in the </span>
  <em>
    <span>past</span>
  </em>
  <span> and be bitter about it! I </span>
  <em>
    <span>get </span>
  </em>
  <span>that the others hurt us, hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but at least I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to move on!” Virgil continued. “You can’t keep using the past to justify being a villain!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A villain. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A villain.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So I’m a </span>
  <em>
    <span>villain</span>
  </em>
  <span> now?!” Deceit scoffed. “You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>such </span>
  </em>
  <span>a hypocrite, Virgil.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not a hypocrite! I realized I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re a </span>
  <em>
    <span>traitor</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Virgil!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>SHUT UP!</b>
  <span>” yelled Anxiety. “</span>
  <b>YOU </b>
  <b>
    <em>NEVER</em>
  </b>
  <b> CHANGE! YOU DON’T </b>
  <b>
    <em>WANT</em>
  </b>
  <b> TO CHANGE!</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus knew that, once Virgil started using his scary voice, he should back off, but he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to back down. He wasn’t sure what exactly it was about this particular argument this time, but he just couldn’t stop himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WHY </span>
  <em>
    <span>SHOULD </span>
  </em>
  <span>I CHANGE?! TO SING AND DANCE FOR THE SIDES THAT KICKED US OUT?!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>WELL, MAYBE THEY KICKED YOU OUT FOR A DAMN </b>
  <b>
    <em>REASON!</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil’s words hung heavily in the air. Janus stared at him with wide eyes, disbelief flowing through him, but he didn’t detect any lies on Virgil’s tongue. Actually, he realized that Virgil’s words hadn’t been painted with lies for this entire discussion. And at this realization, Deceit’s stomach sank, and his vision started going red.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>I’M TIRED OF YOU TRYING TO </b>
  <b>
    <em>CONTROL</em>
  </b>
  <b> ME! IF YOU WANT TO BE MISERABLE, THEN YOU CAN GO BE MISERABLE </b>
  <b>
    <em>BY YOURSELF!</em>
  </b>
  <b> YOU’VE BEEN PISSED EVER SINCE I STARTED SPENDING TIME WITH THE OTHERS, AND </b>
  <b>
    <em>THOMAS</em>
  </b>
  <b> IS THE ONE WHO SUFFERS FROM IT!</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By himself. Virgil wanted him to be all alone, just like before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deceit bared his teeth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> if I’m such a horrible, controlling </span>
  <em>
    <span>villain</span>
  </em>
  <span>, you should just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>leave</span>
  </em>
  <span>, then,” he spoke darkly, his voice dark with a false calmness. “Go run to the fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>perfect</span>
  </em>
  <span> little light sides! Maybe they can save you from having to deal with the sides who fucking took care of you when </span>
  <b>
    <em>they</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> didn’t want you!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deceit saw tears gathering in the corners of Virgil’s eyes, but he was too hurt himself to feel bad for what he said just yet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“MAYBE I WILL!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GOOD! FUCKING </span>
  <em>
    <span>GO, </span>
  </em>
  <span>THEN!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Deceit didn’t mean that. Even in that moment, as angry as he was, he knew he didn’t mean that. He wanted Virgil to go away for a while, wanted to go back to his own room until they calmed down, but he didn’t want Virgil to go to the Light Sides. That was probably one of the last things he wanted. But he was angry and hurt, and his ability to tell the truth was waning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“GO AND DON’T FUCKING COME BACK!” he screamed. “I DON’T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lie. Lie lie lie.</span>
  </em>
  <span> But he was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>mad.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“FINE!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Virgil was storming away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then, right before Virgil left the room, he paused, and in strained, honest voice, he spoke:</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate</span>
  </em>
  <span> you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then he was gone, slamming the door behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus stood there for a long time before finally mustering up the ability to go to his room. He was glad that Remus was in the imagination right now, because he knew the other side would be upset about this. Despite his violent tendencies, Remus always hated their fighting. He wasn’t even sure how he was going to explain this to Remus if Virgil really didn’t come back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he was alone in his room, Janus sank to the floor and snapped his fingers to change into a hoodie. He already knew he wasn’t going to be leaving his room for a while, so he might as well be comfortable in his misery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m not upset at all,” Janus lied automatically under his breath. “The sky is green, and everything is </span>
  <em>
    <span>fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today, he didn’t even bother hesitating in removing his gloves and rolling up his sleeves. His head was thrumming, and his skin was crawling, and he wanted everything to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>stop</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a bit. By the time he was done, blood was smeared onto his fingertips and under his nails. He sighed as he looked at the damage he had done. Janus probably would have done this whether they had an argument or not, but this was definitely one of those times when the line between his compulsion to pick his skin and a desire to hurt himself started to blur. It was always like this when they argued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And they had been arguing a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> recently. It’s not like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted</span>
  </em>
  <span> to, and he doubted that Virgil did, either, but they just couldn’t seem to get along anymore. Janus felt betrayed by Virgil pushing them aside in favor of the Lights, and Virgil apparently hated him now. It just seemed like, no matter what they did, they just couldn’t stop being angry at each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil hated him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. No, Virgil doesn’t hate me…,” Janus told himself tearfully. “He’ll be back…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t until Janus said that aloud that he realized he didn’t actually believe it. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, these next two chapters cover the conversation with Virgil that was mentioned in ‘Movie Night’. It takes place shortly after ‘Aftermath’ (and before ‘Movie Night’ itself).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t been long since the others came to talk to him, saying they wanted to try to include him more. At that point, Janus mostly just talked with Remus and Patton still. The others were no longer really outright villainizing him or going out of their way to be mean to him, but they hadn’t really started seeking him out yet either. Specifically, Logan was usually busy, Roman couldn’t seem to decide whether he really wanted to forgive him or not, and Virgil was avoiding him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus himself was </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be friendly, trying not to be antagonistic, but it was hard. There were times he had to hold back a scathing remark or a cruel joke or two. Once, he’d even had to quickly silence himself, hand over his mouth, to avoid saying something that would have certainly made Patton cry (he hadn’t even really </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant</span>
  </em>
  <span> it, not what he was about to say- he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Deceit</span>
  </em>
  <span>- but there was a good chance that Patton would have forgotten that in the moment). </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was just difficult to suddenly have to behave differently, even though he had a good reason to do so. He did want to be accepted- </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> accepted- by not just Thomas but the other sides as well, and he knew that would take time, but sometimes he wondered if it was worth the effort. Of course, whenever he thought that, he would shake the thought out of his head. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> worth it. Rather, the issue was more that he feared that all his efforts would go to waste. Sure, the others </span>
  <em>
    <span>said</span>
  </em>
  <span> that they wanted to include him more, give him a chance, but what if he screwed up? What if he wasn’t able to hold himself back, and he ended up saying something he shouldn’t? What if the others got tired of him, or what if they realized that giving him a chance was a mistake? Roman was already balancing between the two options, and Janus never knew when the creative side would plant his feet firmly on the side of rejecting him once again, maybe forever this time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once he started going down that particular rabbit hole of thoughts, Janus would usually find himself locking himself away in his room and removing his gloves. Which wasn’t new. Sure, he picked at his skin regardless of how he was feeling (especially if he looked at it too long), but he always did it more when that tight knot of unpleasantness made itself known in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hated this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was this how Virgil felt when the others had only just started accepting him? Did he spend the day wondering when the other shoe would drop, when the others would realize their mistake and cast him out again? Or had he just been glad to be accepted, glad that Thomas and the others wanted him around? Had he been relieved to finally be away from Janus, to finally have a place he belonged, a place where he could be happy and loved without paying the price of dealing with him and Remus? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus knew that the situation wasn’t entirely the same. Yes, both Virgil and himself played the role of the villain to be heard, but Virgil had Morality on his side practically from the start, and even before Virgil was ‘officially accepted’, Thomas had already started to like him. Janus didn’t have that. The closest he got was Roman, who he manipulated through compliments and who hadn’t even really been on his side. From the start, Roman hadn’t actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked</span>
  </em>
  <span> him- he’d just wanted to be praised, and he wanted Thomas to go to the call-back. And sure, after that whole fiasco with the wedding, Patton had begrudgingly accepted that Janus could </span>
  <em>
    <span>sometimes</span>
  </em>
  <span> be needed by Thomas, but even then, Patton didn’t like or trust him as he did with Virgil. Patton had screwed up, and he was upset that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Deceit</span>
  </em>
  <span>, of all sides had to be the one to help Thomas. It had taken Patton turning into a </span>
  <em>
    <span>giant frog</span>
  </em>
  <span> and attacking Thomas for him to realize that he could be a bit too strict with Thomas’s morals sometimes. If Patton hadn’t taken it too far, he doubted that the man would have ever even tried to accept him, and by extension, the others probably wouldn’t have either. Even Thomas wouldn’t have listened to him if Morality hadn’t eased up on him after he realized how badly he’d messed up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Okay. Enough of this. All he was doing was sitting around and making himself feel bad. It was fine. They said they wanted to listen to his input, and he hadn’t detected any lies when they said it. He would just have to show them that it wasn’t a mistake to listen to him sometimes. If he could do that, then they wouldn’t change their mind, right? And so what if being nicer was difficult for him? Janus was a great actor, so until he was able to hold back his sarcasm more naturally, he could just pretend. Play the role of a nicer Deceit, one who didn’t feel like lashing out at the sides who cast him out and only hadn’t condemned him to a lifetime of loneliness because they </span>
  <em>
    <span>also</span>
  </em>
  <span> cast out Remus and Virgil and-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And he was still doing it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a deep breath, Janus stood and went into the bathroom, pointedly not looking in the mirror as he washed the small smears of blood off his hands. Once they were clean and dry and bandaids covered anything that stubbornly decided to keep bleeding, Janus replaced his gloves. There. Good as new. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I </span>
  <em>
    <span>haven’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> spent too much time in my room,” Janus muttered to himself as he exited the bathroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He went over to the heating rock where Snakey was sleeping, gently petting the reptile so he didn’t wake it up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I suppose I probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> go out for a bit,” Janus sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Truthfully, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t want to leave his room. He was usually content to be in there for days, if not weeks, on end, only getting dragged outside by Remus every so often. But part of him knew that wasn’t really healthy, even if he often ignored that part of him in favor of hiding anyway. Part of self-care included going outside sometimes, so he knew he </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> leave his room, right? Self-care was, ironically, not really his strong suit, but maybe he should </span>
  <em>
    <span>try</span>
  </em>
  <span>. That didn’t mean he wanted to, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps he could go read a book in the commons living room. At this time of day, there was a chance that Patton might be in the kitchen, but the others probably wouldn’t have left their rooms yet. Logan would probably be working, and Roman liked to sleep late. Virgil was usually the kind of person to stay up all night and then wake up more toward afternoon. So, there was a good chance that no one else would be in the living room quite yet. He could go and read his book outside his room for a bit, just until the others would start showing up. Maybe he would have a quick chat with Patton about something unimportant. It’s not like he had to stay down there all day or anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And so, Janus squared his shoulders, standing tall with his head held high as he grabbed a book and left his room. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Part 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Aaaaaaah, sorry for venting, but my doctor wants me to get a biopsy on my thyroid (with a needle thing), and since I have a needle phobia, I can’t sit still long enough and I’m gonna have to be drugged so I stay still. I’m just kinda freaking out a bit over the whole thing.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, here’s the next chapter. This takes place directly after the last chapter. </p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil hadn’t been able to sleep last night, and he was exhausted, but even if he wanted to just say screw it and sleep the rest of the day, he still felt slumber eluding him. It sucked, but it wasn’t like Virgil was a stranger to insomnia. His eye shadow wasn’t the only reason he had bags under his eyes, after all. But still, it sucked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was pretty early in the morning, so the others weren’t awake yet. Or, if they were, they just hadn’t left their rooms yet. Patton would probably be coming down in a few minutes, though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few hours of unsuccessfully trying to sleep, Virgil had given up and gone to the living room, thinking that, if he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, he might as well watch something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just as the anxious side had predicted, he soon heard footsteps. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Pat,” Virgil called out from his spot on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he actually turned his head, however, he saw that it wasn’t Patton who entered the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was Janus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil tensed up at the same time he saw Janus do so. He could see that the other side was clutching a book in his hand, and judging by the surprised expression on Janus’s face, the man hadn’t expected Virgil to be here. He had probably been intending to read in the living room before everyone was up or something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus pursed his lips before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Good morning, Virgil,” the deceitful side spoke evenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh… yeah. Morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stared at each other for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I suppose I should be going, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt a quick flash of anxiety coming from the other side. And then Janus started turning around to leave, and Virgil realized that Janus probably thought he wouldn’t want him there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Deceit, wait.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus paused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Yes, Virgil?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude, you don’t have to leave just ‘cuz I’m sitting here,” he told him. “There’s enough room on the couch for two of us.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s what he said, but deep down, Virgil kind of hoped that Janus would still leave. It wasn’t that he was still really all that mad at the other side or that he hated him or anything. He just didn’t know what to say around the man or what he should do, and that made him anxious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus turned back around and gave him a look that told him that there was a good chance he knew Virgil wasn’t being entirely honest about his feelings. He watched the side silently deliberate with himself for a few seconds before sighing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well, then.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then Janus came over and sat down on the couch, not quite as far away from Virgil as he could possibly be, but not close either. Without another word, Janus flipped open his book to a page toward the middle and started reading, though Virgil saw his eyes dart away from looking at him the few times that Virgil turned his own gaze toward Janus. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, wasn’t this just a barrel of fun?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, making Janus look away from his book again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not knowing what to say, Virgil just said the first thing that came to mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Whatcha reading?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus blinked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... </span>
  <em>
    <span>Basics of Bioethics</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... Is that a textbook?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> a textbook,” Virgil spoke incredulously. “Logan would be proud.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil hadn’t meant his words to sound insulting, but he saw Janus bristle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, I can’t be interested in learning about something, Virgil?” he questioned defensively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now it was Virgil’s turn to blink. He probably should have guessed that, even as non-serious as it was, Janus wouldn’t have appreciated any light teasing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... I wasn’t making fun of you, dude,” Virgil said sincerely. “I was just trying to make conversation. Logan really </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> be proud of you for reading it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus’s eyes widened once again into a surprised stare likely at the honesty in Virgil’s voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Oh.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where’d you even get that, anyway? I’m pretty sure Thomas hasn’t read it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, he doesn’t exactly know Spanish, either.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... True.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>False.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At this, Janus looked away again, having not meant to make the joke, and Virgil once again sensed a hint of anxiety coming from the deceitful side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was weird. Of course, it was far from the first time that Virgil had sensed anxiety coming from Janus. Virgil sensed it quite a bit when they first met, and though it had lessened once they knew each other better, he had still sensed it a few times before he left the Dark Sides. He knew that, sometimes (though not always), Janus’s apparent confidence was an act. Janus could be incredibly insecure sometimes, so it wasn’t so strange for Virgil to sense that he felt that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just didn’t get why Janus was feeling that way now. Their conversation had gone well, hadn’t it? Janus was one of them now. He knew that Virgil wasn’t going to hiss at him and tell him to leave anymore, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… Actually, maybe he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> understand why Janus would be feeling insecure. This was new, and he probably hadn’t really found his footing amongst the others quite yet. And that one conversation about including Janus more probably hadn’t entirely reassured him about Virgil’s feelings about him being around. They hadn’t really gotten along for a long time before then, after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… And Virgil had also been avoiding him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right. Yeah, that probably didn’t help in convincing Janus that Virgil wasn’t angry at him being around anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Virgil spoke again. “You haven’t been coming out of your room much. Patton was wondering if you would start coming to breakfast more.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, because I’m usually </span>
  <em>
    <span>such</span>
  </em>
  <span> a social butterfly,” he drawled. “It’s not like I usually spend most of my time in my room or anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not really social, either, but I’m pretty sure I leave my room more than you do, which is kinda saying something since I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> ever leave my room,” Virgil replied, his tone half-joking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there a point to this conversation, Virgil?” Janus asked plainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil fiddled with his sleeves. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I dunno,” he answered. “It’s just… You aren’t staying in your room ‘cuz you think we dont want you around, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Do you?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words sounded defeated and somewhat bitter, and they made Anxiety cringe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, we just had a whole big heart-to-heart about involving you, so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, because listening to my input in regards to Thomas </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally</span>
  </em>
  <span> means that you all want me slithering around everywhere,” Janus shot back with an eye-roll.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Janus, that conversation was about more than including you in just the videos. It was also about including you in everything else, too,” Virgil explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus let out a scoff.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Virgil, having that conversation doesn’t really mean you want me around,” he told him. “Thomas sometimes benefits from my input, but I don’t really need to socialize with the rest of you to give it. Do you think I don’t notice how all of you react when I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> come out of my room? Logan doesn’t care </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> I do, and it’s a roulette with Roman. The only reason Patton doesn’t mind my presence more is because he feels bad about what happened with the wedding. And don’t try to tell me that </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> want me here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil knew that Janus’s words were honest this time, which made him feel bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why do you think </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>don’t want you here?” Virgil started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Seriously</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Virgil? I know very well that you didn’t actually want me to stay when you said I could. That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> a few minutes ago,” Janus growled. “And every time </span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> don’t leave the room when you’re there, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> do. What about that suggests that you actually want to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>anywhere</span>
  </em>
  <span> near me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He left the past unspoken, but Virgil knew that was just as, if not more, important here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless, Janus’s voice raised in volume as he spoke; however, the side thankfully kept it from getting to the point of yelling. Virgil doubted that either of them wanted this conversation to be interrupted. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But just as soon as Janus’s face shifted to anger, it shifted back to indifference, though just enough emotion came through that Virgil could tell that it was just a mask for something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t even exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>blame</span>
  </em>
  <span> you all for it, though…,” Janus said wistfully, turning his face determinedly toward the far wall. “Just… don’t bother trying to lie to me, Virgil.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now Virgil was definitely concerned. Janus could be insecure, but he was rarely </span>
  <em>
    <span>honest</span>
  </em>
  <span> about it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scooted closer and put a loose hand on Janus’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jan. Look at me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man’s pupils shifted in his direction, though his head remained in the same position. Virgil supposed that was good enough. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I can’t exactly speak for the others, even though I know that whatever you </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> they think about you, it’s probably exaggerated. Believe me, I know what that’s like,” Virgil said firmly. “But I can speak for myself, and even though I already said it, I’ll say it again: I </span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> hate you. It’s just… the situation has changed, and I’m not really sure what to do about it. I’m uncertain, and it’s uncomfortable, and most of the time, I avoid things that make me uncomfortable. I’m sure that the others feel that way a bit too. We’re not used to having you around, and the others don’t even really </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> you. I do know you, but getting over the past is difficult.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus’s gaze moved downward. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not avoiding you because I don’t want you here. I just don’t know what to do,” Virgil continued. “But… if we’re always avoiding each other, we’re never gonna figure it out. So, I think we both need to just suck it up and start spending time together, or we’re just going to keep avoiding each other forever. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not have to deal with that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Virgil took a deep breath in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, just read your book. You can come read your book regardless of who’s sitting here. And if we fight, we fight, and we figure it out from there,” Virgil finished. “Got it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus played with the fingers of his gloves for a bit before responding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“... You’ve changed, Virgil,” he said with a conflicted sigh. “I never thought I’d hear you tell me to </span>
  <em>
    <span>embrace</span>
  </em>
  <span> conflict.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I control </span>
  <em>
    <span>fight</span>
  </em>
  <span> too. Fight and flight doesn’t mean that I have to run away from </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Virgil pointed out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Janus tapped his fingers against his sleeve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s true, I suppose,” he agreed. “But regardless, you’ve still changed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So have you, Scales.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time Patton stumbled into the commons, mumbling something about accidentally sleeping in, Janus had gone back to reading his book, and Virgil had fallen asleep next to him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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